Her Fearful Symmetry: One of *Those* Books

Though most of my reading experiences have been positive ones, there is, of course, the occasional piece of crap. That book that is *so* bad, that not even my inner English major can be forced into saying something nice about it. I'm not talking Twilight, which gets an "Eh, it's good for what it is," from me. I don't mean Lord of the Flies, which, even though I didn't enjoy it, I can recognize has earned the right to be called a classic. No, I mean those books that you finish and think 'What?! I just wasted five hours of my life on that?!' and throw the book at the wall. I'm talking about the books that make you want to write the author and tell her not to give up her day job (so to speak). Fortunately, I have come across few books in my life that fit that description. That's part of why the book I read last week got me so mad: I just wasn't ready for a stinker.

Last month, on a weekend jaunt to Hastings, I was delighted to find that Audrey Niffenegger, author of The Time Traveler's Wife, had published a new book. I loved her first novel, so I immediately picked up the book and planned to buy it. However, it was only a month until Christmas and I still had presents to buy. I sat down in one of the chairs and started reading to make sure this was a book I wanted to spend thirty dollars on. It was. I got fifty pages in that day and it was wonderful. Though different from The Time Traveler's Wife, the book still had that mysterious, romantic, almost Gothic air that Niffenegger does so well. However, by that point, common sense had gotten the better of me. I put the beautiful but overpriced book back, went home, and added it to my list at the library.

A slow four weeks passed, during which I almost bought the book several more times. I controlled myself though, and finally, in the first week of the new year, the book came into the library. I went and picked it up the day I got the notice and settled down that night to read it. I sped through, and at the end of the novel I was saddened to realize that I had just finished one of *those* books.

Her Fearful Symmetry went bad after that first fifty pages. The storylines were predictable (including both of the "shocking" twists), the characters were unlikable, and the resolution seemed rushed. Plus, there was animal cruelty.

The one good aspect of the book was Martin, the OCD, crossword-setting upstairs neighbor to the main characters. In fact, a book about Martin and his wife Marijke as they struggle to deal with his ever-worsening illness would have been wonderful. But I guess Niffenegger felt that The Obsessive-Compulsive's Wife would be a tad repetitive.

Other *Those* Books:

Ya-Yas in Bloom by Rebecca Wells - Bad from the beginning, but turns truly awful towards the end. It's almost like Wells got close to the end and thought 'Oh YEAH! I need a plot! Well, I'll do this and this and this and voila! The end.' Fans of Divine Secrets don't waste your time. It's not the Ya-Yas. It's some faker.

Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald - I should have known better than to read a book Oprah recommended, but sadly I caved on this book. What a waste. Depressing, disturbing, unoriginal, and boring. I'll even spoil it for you because that's how much I don't want you to read it: it's about incest. Lots and lots of incest. Artsy incest, at that.

Pay it Forward - Okay, so this is not actually a book, at least not as far as I know, but it's definitely one of *those* things. Not even Helen Hunt, Haley Joel Osment, and Kevin Spacey can make this pile of garbage worth watching. This is the only movie I have ever walked away from wishing I could have the last two hours of my life back. I can handle sad. I can handle pointless violence deaths, even when it's children doing the dying. But why make an inspirational movie and then undermine your own point?